So often in middle school and high school, girls begin having doubts about themselves. It all starts with how they identify their body. Confidence is shattered at an early age when people assign a negative label to a girl’s appearance and it is often not an isolated incident. Over time, repeated negative comments start to take a real hold. No matter how hard we can try to love ourselves, it can be overwhelming to silence that inner voice.
You know that voice; it tells us that those hurtful words must be true-or we allow ourselves to believe it is true. And if we don’t silence that voice, if we don’t find a way to realize that it is a reflection of that person or people who said those words and not of who we are, it can stay with us long after middle school and high school. All too often, we look in the mirror and allow our beliefs about our entire self-worth to be based on how big we think our thighs look or what size jeans we are wearing. Our negative inner voice is reinforced when someone makes a negative comment on how we look and for some girls make them really believe it regardless of their size or body make up.
Redirect what you hear and don’t allow it to impact how you feel about you
Many of us often struggle with our body image; being called fat can deal a major confidence blow. Even confident and unstoppable girls can find their emotions reeling from being called “chunky,” “thick,” or the F-word….”fat.” It can cause a seismic shift in the way we think about ourselves. Negative body image words can make us feel emotionally defeated and less valuable as a person.
It doesn’t have to if we don’t let it
When someone calls you fat, consider:
Taking a deep breath: Slowing down our breathing allows us to think and then insert a positive thought in place of the negative label. Try saying something like “I am me inside and out” for example.
The source: Consider the person behind the insult. In the grand scheme of your life, who is this person to you? Should he/she be given the power to make believe what they are saying? If the answer is no, moving on without a response can prove the perfect response.
Smiling: Nothing can disarm someone spouting negativity like a genuine smile. It instantly lets them know that their opinion has absolutely no impact in you.
Taking the high road: If the comments happen repeatedly, try disarming them. A simple “You are entitled to your opinion, but I know I am perfect the way I am,” before walking away can be all the response you need.
Taking inventory: Yes, hurtful words have impact. However, it’s important to remember that we are all special beings with so much to offer. When was the last time you acknowledged your awesomeness? Take a few minutes and tell yourself what you love about being you. Building yourself up can give you the confidence reboot you deserve and to flush out the negative voice that will stop you. Remember, there is only one you, and the world is truly a better place with you in it just as you are being you.
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